Friday, July 28, 2006


Looks like my work world is gonna start getting alot busier beginning on monday. I wonder if that will mean less blogging due to time restrains, or more blogging due to more random thoughts and escapism. Hmm...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


From a funny conversation with the Mrs.:

Today's whore-o-scope:

Same as yesterday's and tommorrow's, "you will continue to exchange sexual favors for gifts, attention and money."


one headlight...

we were on i-5 yesterday when I had to jam on the brakes because there was an accident. we sat in the heat moving slowly toward exit 134 (i needed to take portland avenue anyway) when we noticed the cops, fire department and EMT responding. creeping along we finally took the congested exit and noticed a bus, dump truck and a car collision. the car was upside down in the ditch and the medics were shuttling a body to the transport. it wasn't moving. the hood and roof of the car were crushed in like at a junkyard. i waited for the ambulance to take off screaming toward the nearest hospital but it just sat there.

i've been waxing poetical and philosophical in my head all night until i came to the conclusion that i usually come to: at this point in our evolution, life seems to be a constant process of releasing each moment...until there are no more moments to let go.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Move over Buffy...

There's a new vampire killer in town.


Roy Rogers is riding through the Wild West on his trusty horse, Trigger, When he happens upon a group of Apache Indians.Not the best pleased at having trespassers in the territory, The Indians capture Roy and bury him up to his chin in the sand.

Before leaving him to die in the scorching heat, the Indians decide to grant him one last wish. "Could I say a parting farewell to my trusty steed?" comes the request.

The Indians seem to understand, and agree, so Roy beckons Trigger to come closer, and then whispers in his Ear. The horse bolts off at once in the direction of the nearest town. Half an hour later, the horse returns with a gorgeous, scantily clad prostitute on its back.

The prostitute jumps down from the horse and gently removes the small, frilly knickers she's wearing. Sitting astride Roy Rogers' face, she then proceeds to give him firsts, seconds and thirds of her fanny, almost suffocating him in the process.

Well, the Indians think this is magic and decide that he clearly deserves another wish. So Roy

Beckons his horse again and whispers in his ear. "I said fetch a posse, you stupid git!"

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Saw Ms. S today...

I was in the local quik-e mart when I noticed her come in. She didn't see me and headed for the soft drink section so I followed her. As I was sneaking up on her trying to figure out something annoying to say (I was considering calling her by her sister's name to piss her off) she suprised me into laughter by digging her panties out of her ass. When she turned around I was pointing and wooting at her.
"Noah! You caught me!"
I turned and tripped away before she could sock me in the arm or something. She asked me to stop by her car and say hello to her little flower girls on my way out. It was nice to see her today.

she shreds my sanity

My computer desktop is set to update's horoscope everytime I connect to the internet. But, it hasn't been working for months. It is stuck on this report from months ago:

capricorn by
what's significant to you today may not be apparent to others, for your emphasis is currently not on the outer world. You have alot happening, but much of it is occurring within the invisible boundaries of your own mind. It could, however, be quite challenging, for you may be afraid to indulge your own fantasies. Try no to let old fears stand in the way of your present happiness.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Richard Santos Fantasy Art

I like this guy's stuff.

Hey!...I'm outta toilette paper here!

When I was a kid, I used to tell my mom: Geez, I can't wait to be a grown-up. Grown-ups get to do whatever they want.

She would just chuckle and say something like: Just you wait and see...

I wish she would have told me that one of the toughest parts of being an adult is the constant fight to not simply become the sum total of your responsibilities.


Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

Man: "Hello"

Woman: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

Man: "Yes"

Woman: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

Man: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."

Man: "How much?"

Woman: "$65,000."

Man: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

Man: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

Woman: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

Man: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I am Evil, beware my wrath

Master of the Shadows Quiz

You are a NightDragon! You have no sympathy for the forces of light and goodness, and will stop at nothing to be the greatest Evil that exists...
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Drilling The Ladies...Sun Tzu Style

Sun Tzu Wu was a native of the Ch`i State. His ART OF WAR brought him to the notice of Ho Lu, [2] King of Wu.
Ho Lu said to him: "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?"
Sun Tzu replied: "You may."
Ho Lu asked: "May the test be applied to women?"
The answer was again in the affirmative, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King's favorite concubines at the head of each. He then bade them all take spears in their hands, and addressed them thus: "I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?"
The girls replied: Yes.
Sun Tzu went on: "When I say "Eyes front," you must look straight ahead. When I say "Left turn," you must face towards your left hand. When I say "Right turn," you must face towards your right hand. When I say "About turn," you must face right round towards your back." Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill.
Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order "Right turn." But the girls only burst out laughing.
Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame." So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order "Left turn," whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter.
Sun Tzu: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers."
So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded. Now the king of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he was greatly alarmed and hurriedly sent down the following message: "We are now quite satisfied as to our general's ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded."
Sun Tzu replied: "Having once received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept." Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the pair next in order as leaders in their place.
When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound.
Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: "Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty's inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey."
But the King replied: "Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops."
Thereupon Sun Tzu said: "The King is only fond of words, and cannot translate them into deeds."



Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Who's the gayest of them all? Funny!

The Channel 4 Gay-O-Meter has calculated that Kaiserfuji is 26 percent gay! Find out just how gay you are with the Channel 4 Gay-O-Meter

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself.
No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

Monday, July 03, 2006

The Dullest Blog in the World Link

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.